What will you think of when your mind wanders back to 2022? Was it a good year? A bad year? The worst year? From January 1st to December 31st, how many times did you (or anyone) fall in love? Or have your heart broken and hopes dashed? I don’t know if I’ll have any strong emotional resonance with this year, as it fades to memories if anyone will stand the test of time. I worry that 2022 will be but a heavy grey fog across my mind, a blur of similar days and unevents.
But if there are any moments that stand out, it is with these movies they will be anchored to. When I think of these movies, the best, the worst, and more, I’ll be reminded of what 2022 could have been as much as what it was. The dream and the reality, flickering across the screen, twenty-four frames a second framing my early thirties. What secrets will these hold for me? Only time will tell. As of now, they hold joy, disappointment, and, the greatest thing a film can give, hope.
That was rather pensive. Don’t worry, I promise to get silly later.
These are the films of 2022.
The Best
10. Barbarian
Few things are more thrilling than going to the theatres with zero expectations. Blind watching a film is not for everyone, as the time and monetary commitment only to be disappointed is not always a viable trade. But when that film hits and you are rewarded with shock and surprise? That’s what we love about the movies. Barbarian is a wild ride from start to finish. Former sketch comedian Zach Creggar proves the link between comedy and horror is stronger than ever by twisting rapidly from one direction to the other throughout the film, and with each cut you’ll never know whether to laugh or scream. A big win for horror.
9. Crimes of the Future
David Cronenberg returns to body horror and sexual perversion with Crimes of the Future, and thank God he did. Simply put I missed films that are weird and horny and gross. I know that this may not be the deepest of critical insights, but in a film culture that seems explicitly anti-sex and where even the slight detour from the norm is seen as unsettling, it’s good to have a film that actually wants to push boundaries on what we consider body horror. A bizarre science fiction horror about struggling with one’s own madness in a world that is even more unsettling, and the ultimate acceptance of the unknown the future holds.
8. Triangle of Sadness
More than a handful of films are trying their best to convince us we should eat the rich. The Menu, Glass Onion, and Triangle of Sadness all point out the flaws and stupidity of current systems. But one thing that Triangle of Sadness has over the others is just how damn fun it is. The ironic Scandinavian wit of director Ruben Ostlund is combined with the broad comedy of watching an entire boat of the ultra-rich have explosive food poisoning (a true delight), creating one of the most high-energy theatre experiences of the year for me. While the messaging is perhaps too broad for some, it nonetheless cuts deep. A satire with almost too much to say, but it says it well.
7. Nope
With a near-constant stream of work coming from the mind of Jordan Peele, one would not be off to worry that he is stretching himself too thin creatively. And while some of his producing work has fallen short in recent years, Nope shows us that he is far from running dry creatively. Nope is a fascinating, deeply engrossing film that covers as many metaphors and ideas as possible without ever feeling overstuffed or undercooked. Themes of animal abuse, exploitation within the entertainment industry, and the unforgiving desire to awe the people leads this to being one of the most thought-provoking films of the year. Plus it’s shot so damn well. Possibly Peele’s best yet.
6. Everything, Everywhere, All At Once
With two of the best performances of the year from Michelle Yeoh and Ke Huy Quan, this madcap sci-fi film throws everything at you and holds absolutely nothing back. As pure a cinematic vision as we’re allowed in theatres currently, EEAAO is smart, funny, and a beautiful insight into how every decision makes you who you are. I will never forgive Hollywood for robbing us of thirty years of performances from Ke Huy Quan.
5. The Eternal Daughter
A slow-burn British ghost story that passes over you, sending shivers down your spine as if someone had crossed your grave. A deeply emotional portrayal of the relationship between a mother and daughter (both played impeccably by Tilda Swinton) and the costs of giving one’s life in service of others. A sleepy, warm bath of a film that will leave you drained by the end of the journey (drained emotionally, brimming spiritually).
4. The Fablemans
Steven Spielberg is 76 years old and just made one of the best films of his entire fifty-year-long career. A deeply personal effort that avoids the schmaltz and saccharine often associated with the director, The Fablemans is more than just the story of Spielberg’s childhood; it’s about the shaping of a creative voice and the elements that are out of our control that still inform who we are as people and what stories we tell. Nobody can conduct a scene between two people simply talking quite like Spielberg, and even in the depressed moments there is an overwhelming sense of hope. Spielberg once again makes you believe in the magic of the movies.
3. Aftersun
The most heartbreaking film of the year, this is one that will haunt you in the quiet moments after the credits have rolled. A young father takes his daughter on a trip to Turkey, and this weekend is the last time she ever spends with him. Less about the revelations as to why this is their final weekend together and more about the revelations between a father who never had a chance to grow up and a young girl who had to grow up far too soon. Paul Mescal turns in a star-making performance that is understated but never silent, moving but never showy. One to keep you up at night.
2. The Banshees of Inisherin
A wicked film about wicked men and how they excuse their wrong-doings. The triviality of conflict and the heart-rending search for empathy in a world most cold makes this one of the best films of the decade so far, with a career-best from Colin Farrel. Adding in the sardonic wit of Martin McDonaugh (with possibly the best script he’s ever written) and we are left with a movie that weaves theme, thought, and funny like no other in 2022.
1. After Yang
A quiet film that (after the most fun, explosive opening to a film in 2022) takes its time to slowly unravel the mystery of itself. Through small moments and subtle lives director Kogonada explores what it means to be a family and what it means to love a family, and the difference between these two acts. A heady sci-fi film that’s more interested in exploring the meaning behind creation than the act itself, and simply what makes us fundamentally human. A victory for quiet cinema and a steady, gentle hand just outside the frame. Beautiful.
The Worst
10. Bodies, Bodies, Bodies
I’m sorry, I know that this was a favourite of many on Tiktok and Twitter but I could not stand this film. A poorly made Twitter rant of a film, with the most obvious of attempts at satire anyone has tried. No depth, no introspection, nothing interesting to say. I’ll get a more interesting insight into the culture by scrolling on Tiktok’s for you page for fifteen minutes than throughout the runtime of this dreck.
9. Doctor Strange and the Multiverse
This is the year I have given up on Marvel, and this is one of the reasons why. Sam Raimi is one of the most vibrant American filmmakers out there, a stylist who throws the camera across the screen and demands the audiences to hold on tight, and yet even he can’t break free from the dirge that is the Marvel film universe. A bland copy of a copy, with little to no thrills. Another empty ugly film from the factory.
8. The Gray Man
Speaking of empty, ugly films, The Gray Man was Netflix’s attempt at entering the big-budget action space this year and it helped highlight everything wrong with both modern-day action and Netflix original films. Mostly that Netflix originals are highly unoriginal, with a plot you’ll find every Saturday afternoon on TNT and action as muddled and uninspired as an A.I. art generation. The first film to ever be cowritten by the United Alliance of Uncles Everywhere, even Gray is too colourful of a description for this one.
7. Death on the Nile
The mini-boom of murder mysteries happening currently is, for me, one of the most underwhelming trends of the last five years. My hopes are constantly high that these will be great, that I’ll be swept away and shocked and most of all surprised. Unfortunately for every Knives Out we are being fed a Death on the Nile, a limp follow-up to the already mediocre Murder on the Orient Express. When we’re not being distracted by some of the worst green screen of the year (or dozen years) we’re being bogged down by a dull and cliched take on what should have been a classic mystery. When your best idea is to explain the backstory to a mustache, it might be time to call it a day.
6. The 355
I can’t really blame this one for being bad, it would be hard for anyone to work with a script that was just the words “girl power” written across a coffee-stained copy of a John Grisham novel. Had this film come out in 2003 it still would have been woefully dated, with the worst part of it all being that nobody is even having any fun. Charlie’s Angels: Full Throttle is the exact same movie, but at least they didn’t think they were making the most important film of the year. Not trashy enough to make you cheer and not thrilling enough to keep you awake. Also half the time it looks like the leads aren’t even in the same room as each other. A bizarre film to make now.
5. The Man from Toronto
I don’t understand Kevin Hart. I don’t understand his comedy, I don’t understand his movies, I don’t understand his appeal. But for most of the year I can at least respect that he has his thing. This is not that thing. Sure, he’s doing the same as always (running, screaming, being small) but placing him in a hitman mistaken identity plot doesn’t work for one reason: they would kill him. The hitman would kill him. If your script is constantly fighting for literally any reason for Kevin Hart at his most annoying would be kept alive, your script won’t be believable. Add in Woody Harrelson sleepwalking through the film and we have another example of Netflix mediocrity.
4. Blacklight
I watched this on my phone over the course of severally days of doing cardio at the gym, something I strongly recommend. In fact it may be the only way to watch this movie without falling into a deep slumber. Liam Neeson cashes another paycheck in this film destined to be forgotten before the credits even roll. Calling it unremarkable would be an insult to dry-erase markers everywhere.
3. Thor: Love and Thunder
The second, and more egregious, reason I have given up on Marvel, this complete mess of a film starts nowhere and ends nowhere and honestly goes nowhere in between. Taika Waititi gives in to his most base instincts with a script that throws fifty jokes at the wall for everyone that manages to hit and then drives that one that hit down your throat until you’re sick of it as well. An ugly pre-vis nightmare without any attempt at being entertaining.
2. Spiderhead
Director Joseph Kosinski’s second feature of the year, the other being the excellent Top Gun: Maverick, and the one that tells you exactly how much influence Tom Cruise has on set. If this is the quality of filmmaking we get without Cruise, just be thankful Kosenski works with him almost exclusively. Whether it’s teasing out the most obvious of revelations until the very last second, or trying to get you to have an existential crisis and laugh at someone smearing shit on the walls in the same frame, this film is sloppy and at times plain gross. Also, can’t help but give a big fuck you to any film that still thinks nothing is funnier than sexual assault. The bottom of the barrel has been scraped through here.
1. Jurassic World Dominion
There was no hope that this would be good. There was no hope that it would be even passable. My only wish going into this was that there would be light, trashy fun, and dinosaurs. Even with less-than-nothing expectations, I was let down tremendously. How a film that I had absolute bottom basement bar for still disappointed is an achievement in itself. Nonsensical characters, plot, action sequences, everything, a Frankenstein’s monster of a film poorly stitched together from decade-old ideas. Not a single worthwhile moment to be found.
Give Them Some Love
Not every film gets the attention of audiences or critics in these year-end round-ups. These are some films that deserved more.
Apollo 10 1/2
A classic Linkletter film in the vein of Dazed and Confused and Boyhood, this beautifully rotoscoped film tells the story of life in 1960s Texas from the point-of-view of a ten-year-old boy. And much like any ten-year-old, reality and fantasy are at times one and the same.
The Outfit
An extremely tightly scripted and shot gangster drama that plays out in a single location and with only a handful of characters, The Outfit is the best-kept secret of 2022. Twisty, taut, and incredibly well-acted, this is bound to find its audience soon.
Boiling Point
A night in the life of an over-the-hill chef during a busy dinner service at his high-end restaurant, all in a single shot. My heart pounds just thinking about it.
Mrs. Harris Goes to Paris
While “nice” films certainly aren’t the most groundbreaking of works in the world, watching kindness be rewarded will always be a positive experience for me. Is it cliched? A little too old-fashioned? Perhaps, but perhaps cliched and old-fashioned aren’t always a detriment.
Vengeance
A slick thriller and a fish-out-of-water comedy all in one, Vengeance may not be the strongest recommendation on this list, but it does display the most potential. A calling card for first-time director BJ Novak that will help him with future films, and I’ll be there for those films guaranteed.
New Watches of 2022
Not everything has to be brand-spanking new! Some can be spanking old. Spankings for any age, that’s what I say. These are the best first-time watches of 2022.
Apocalypse Now
It’s Apocalypse Now. I truly don’t think I have anything to add to the discourse other than yeah, it’s as good as they say.
Robocop
Seeing this in the theatre may have been one of the top theatrical experiences of the year for me. An insanely funny, violent, and provocative capitalist and authoritarian satire, and still extremely relevant today.
Leave No Trace
A hauntingly beautiful film about what love a father can give to his daughter and the limits of that love after unbelievable trauma. Quiet, gentle, and heartbreaking.
A Face in the Crowd
A political satire about saying anything and everything in order to get to the top and the damage a charismatic person can do to the world. It’s relevant and I hate that.
Stalker
Meditation as medicine as cinema. A poetic science fiction that questions what we do and why we do it and why we bother to live at all.
Moonstruck
Maybe the best romantic comedy ever? Equal parts charming and funny, with Nic Cage unhinged (and with a fake hand) and Cher just being as sexy as any person put on celluloid before.
High and Low
Anytime I watch an Akira Kurasawa film I can’t help but think “this one HAS to be the best” only to then watch another one and think the same thought again. An endless cycle of excellence, and High and Low easily fits in with the others.
Moon
The film that made everyone think Duncan Jones was going to be a genius (if only!). Sam Rockwell at his best, and an original sci-fi concept that will have you debating the morals of it weeks later. One of the best sci-fis of the 2000s.
Seven Samurai
Please see what I said about Apocolypse Now and High and Low. I’m sorry you’ve subscribed to a newsletter written by someone not smart enough to contribute to the conversation around one of the greatest and most influential films ever made. I’m definitely better at talking complete and utter trash.