The winter shill descends, and the holiday spirit rises in all of us before dissipating as one year crosses to the next. With more time to laze and more time to watch, we have more time than ever to discuss December 2024 at the movies…
The Accountant
Not every film needs you to think about it while you’re watching. Some movies are destined to be watched by a dad on a Sunday afternoon only to have him fall asleep halfway through. The Accountant is that type of film. Part revenge thriller, part kickass action flick, part fuck-the-system, the film starring Ben Affleck and directed by Gavin O’Connor may not be one you’ll be thinking about after, but it does what it wants to do well enough that you won’t think you wasted your time. Even if it does rely on the tired trope of autism being a superpower, the actors are playful enough and the villains devious enough that one can set aside their qualms for two hours.
Following Ben Affleck as the titular Accountant, an underworld number cruncher who can cook books and kick ass. Having been raised to fight by a father who helped him turn his autism into a tool, we follow as a new job turns sideways, threatening not just The Accountant but a young woman he’s grown fond of, Dana (Anna Kendrick). As he and Dana fight for their lives, they are pursued by the criminal underworld as well as an intrepid FBI agent who wishes to discover who The Accountant really is. A brainless, fun action flick, if you go in hoping for more I feel you only have yourself to blame for your disappointment.
Babette’s Feast
The Oscar winner for Best Foreign Language Film (now Best International Feature) from 1987, the title Babette’s Feast speaks both of the feast presented in the film as well as the thematic feast the viewers are privy to. Telling the story of a quiet, isolated 19th century Danish village that was founded be a stout religious man who was blessed with two beautiful and talented daughters. In their youth the women are pursued by suitors, only to settle into a life of contemplation and devotion to God. When the Paris Commune starts, a young woman arrives at their door seeking refuge. Having been sent by one of the suitors of their youth, they take the woman in despite having no money to pay her with, and she quickly becomes a staple of the dwindling community. Years later, the young woman (the titular Babette) wins the French lottery, and throws a feast as a celebration to the people who gave her community when she had nothing.
A quiet film about perseverance and unselfish acts, Babette’s Feast is unlikely to set one’s soul aflame with inspiration. Much like the characters in the film director Gabriel Axel slowly unfurls the heart of the film, patiently awaiting for the precise moment to strike the hearts of the audience. The payoff is tremendous, even if one can lose patience with the drawn out design. The art direction is wonderful, and cinematographer Henning Kristiansen is able to capture both the dreariness of the Jutland village and the undeniable appeal of the community. A lovely film about the devotion we have for those we love.
The Birdcage
Comedy legend Mike Nichols takes the directors chair in this remake of the French film La Cage Aux Folies. When the straight son of gay couple Armand and Albert (Robin Williams and Nathan Lane) announces his plans to wed the daughter of a prominent Republican senator, their excitement quickly curdles when they are asked to disguise their gay lifestyle. As they are both flamboyant and proud of their lives, it takes everything they have to convince the senator (Gene Hackman) and his wife (Dianne West) of their bonafide waspiness. A tremendously funny film that plays on gay stereotypes with glee and kindness, this is one of the few comedies featuring gay characters that has stood the test of time.
Lane is fabulous as the overwrought and melodramatic Albert, the lead drag performer at Armand’s nightclub The Birdcage. His failed attempts at coming across as straight are some of the greatest comedic beats of the 1990s, and Robin Williams is incredibly fun in his more restrained, straight man losing his mind role. The script is witty without coming across as preachy, and while the two loverbirds (Dan Futterman and Calista Flockhart) are woefully underwritten, there is still more than enough here for a full recommendation. Funny, smart, and joyful.
Black Christmas
One of the progenitors of the slasher genre, Black Christmas is as bare bones in plot as it is effective in it’s execution. Taking place at a sorority house at the start of Christmas break, the women of the house start receiving increasingly disturbing phone calls before they are picked off one by one by an unseen, maniacal killer. While the police are ineffective in helping the girls with their crank caller, and are spending most of their resources looking for the killer of a little girl, the sorority girls are murdered in various sadistic and bloody manners, until only one stands. Director Bob Clark (a director with a truly fascinating filmography) establishes a sense of dread through every scene in the film, and it quickly earns it’s status as a slasher classic.
While many elements of the film are great, from the de Palma-esque use of split diopter and point-of-view camerawork, to the lead performance of Olivia Hussey (who sadly passed away only one week ago), the villain is something that has yet to be truly replicated since the original Black Christmas. Listening to the crank phone calls still guarantee to send a shiver down ones’ spine. They are purely manic, with no thought or reason behind them, the sound of chaos and madness and rage. It’s an element that slasher films desperately need to revisit, for it’s these phone calls (as well as some truly iconic kills) that will stay with you after watching this anti-Christmas classic.
Buy Now! The Shopping Conspiracy
The feel bad documentary of December, Buy Now! The Shopping Conspiracy traces the causes and ultimate results of the rampant consumerism that has taken hold of modern civilization. Highlighting various ills of the world from how products have been purposefully designed to fail, to how consumers have been trained to buy new instead of used, to the lie that is recycled plastics, director Nic Stacey takes us across the globe and shows us the travesties that consumerism has lead to. An angry and communicative documentary, it’s also deeply confusing in it’s messages, as the prevalent use of A.I. throughout the film robs it of any gravitas it should have.
While showing us the horrors our overconsumption of clothing, electronics, and everything else, it feeds into the same machine that it wants to righteous point a finger at. A.I. as a tool is creatively bankrupt and as terrible for the environment as many of the things brought up in the film. The filmmakers come of as deeply hypocritical by embracing such a destructive tool while trying to tell the viewer to live a better life. The direction, on top of the poor decision to use A.I., is distractingly vibrant and poppy, feeling more like a prolonged Tiktok trend than a serious commentary. With important information to convey, the filmmakers instead choose to fill the film with unnecessary detours and interludes. A film scared of what it has to say, and saying so in a corrupt and, frankly, disgusting manner. Don’t use A.I., kids.
Carry-On
The Christmas season is not lacking when it comes to counter-programming action films. Even if there was only Die Hard that would be enough for any fan of the genre. But we can add one more film to the pile with this year’s Netflix hit Carry-On, starring Taron Egerton and Jason Bateman. When a TSA agent is blackmailed by a mysterious man into letting a backpack go through the scanner without stopping it, it’s up to that agent to correct his mistake and make sure his loving girlfriend doesn’t get caught in the crossfire. While much of the film is laughably implausible, director Jaume Collet-Serra is talented enough to make the action set pieces work even when the plot doesn’t always click into place.
Egerton proves his action movie credentials here as Ethan Kopek, the TSA agent who so far has been coasting through life. Bateman is always fun when he gets to explore the darker sides of his on screen persona, his pitch perfect straight man act easily taking on an edge of menace as the blackmailing terrorist. While the supporting cast is given a variety of absolutely nothing to do, these two do what they can to make this silly premise work. While it’s not a film that’s likely to gain a Christmas classic status, it’s good enough to put on after digesting far too much turkey dinner.
Domino
It’s easy to wish we had more directors like Tony Scott. While few if any of the late director’s films could be considered outright classics, to have someone so assured of their vision is something lacking in the modern cineplex. Even when that vision is misguided and insane, as with the frenetic, epileptic cinematography of his 2005 misfire Domino, there is still a charm to his failure. Following Domino Harvey (Keira Knightley), the daughter of an actor and a supermodel as she chooses to pursue a career on bounty hunting, Domino is less of a film and more like the fever dream of a particularly horny fourteen year old boy. It is a truly unique film experience, even if it’s not a particularly pleasant one.
Filmed in in a septic-tank sepia tone and slashed together in a wa that reminds one of facetiming a toddler as they run around, the film is all but incomprehensible by the end. The plot features backstabbings within backstabbings within a story in a story. Convoluted would be to succinct a word to capture what it’s like watching this film. Knightley does her best in being a tobacco chewing, machine gun wielding badass, but it comes off as teenage fantasy instead of being a real person even within the world presented. Not nearly as fun as it should be, with too much of the bad 2000s sleaze (particularly in the terrible portrayal of the middle eastern character called Alf because he “ate a cat once”) this is a film that can stay firmly in the past.
The Edge of Seventeen
A wonderfully sweet and nostalgic teen drama, The Edge of Seventeen follows social outcast Nadine (Hailee Steinfeld) as she becomes even more isolated when her childhood best friend Krista (Haley Lu Richardson) begins to date her popular older brother Darian (Blake Jenner). Outraged by the betrayal of her friend and her brother taking what she sees as her only outlet from her, Nadine begins a downward spiral of teenage angst and awkwardness. She’s torn between two boys, the lovable dork and the school badass. Her favourite teacher routinely dismisses her concerns (while still allowing her a place to vent). Her mother is overbearing after the sudden death of her father years prior. All this and more begins to pile up, but that’s just life on the edge of seventeen.
A fantastically empathetic portrayal of the end-of-life dramatics that come with every moment of high school, The Edge of Seventeen is possibly the best teen drama/comedy of the last decade. The thing it gets so correct is that, while not being a bad person, Nadine is not always a likeable character. She’s selfish, and combative, and unwilling to listen to those around her. These flaws are what makes this film so great, as every time we can see what she should be doing and she does the exact opposite we can still understand her reasoning. Steinfeld is great as the lead, and both Woody Harrelson as her teacher at the end of his rope and Kyra Sedgwick as her dismissive mother have hilarious moments. The kind of film there should be twelve of a year, an absolute delight.
Equilibrium
An action epic from the early 2000s, Equilibrium follows JOhn Preston (Christian Bale), a government enforcer in a totalitarian state where emotions are illegal. We follow as he learns to have emotions. People get shot. It’s very, VERY, dumb.
That may seem unfair to the film, but unfortunately there is little else to say about it. Take all the elements from various dystopian films, from 1984 to V for Vendetta, take away any nuance or introspection those stories may have, and add in poorly shot gun fights and you’ll get Equilibrium. This is the type of film a particularly dull thirteen year old would find mind-blowing. This is a film for people who still find The Matrix confusing. This film introduces a martial art called “gun fu” for Christ’s sake. Dumb is too light a word for what this film is. On top of dumb, it’s ugly, it’s poorly written, and it just refuses to be enjoyable. Possibly the worst film of Bale’s career. Possibly the worst film I watched this year.
A Few Good Men
A film probably better known for it’s parodies than it’s plot at this point, A Few Good Men is the film that introduced the world to the works of Aaron Sorkin. Following the trial of a pair of Marines arrested for the death of a fellow Marine, we follow the defense team of cocksure Lieutenant Daniel Kaffee (Tom Cruise), his nose-to-the-grindstone friend Lieutenant Sam Weinberg (Kevin Pollock) and the righteous and driven Lieutenant Commander Joanne Galloway (Demi Moore). With the two Marines unwilling to tell them the truth of what happened, but the team knowing that this death was caused by the bitter and cold will of base commander Colonel Nathan R. Jessup (Jack Nicholson), the team must figure out how to get their clients off while everyone is telling them that it isn’t possible. A very talkative, for righteous film about the morals of authority, it’s a solid drama often bogged down by Sorkin and director Rob Reiner’s propensity for flair and cheese.
The performances across the board are very solid, even if most of the cast are not giving anything unknown to them already. A quiet stand out for me was Keifer Sutherland as First Lieutenant Jonathon Kendrick, the next in command under Jessup, a cold man who believes nothing is more important than a Marine following his orders. The twists within the script are well paced and well placed, and new viewers will never be certain where the story will end up. It does lean heavily into the cheese, especially near the end, and it shows signs of the dull righteousness that will later derail Reiner’s directing career, but it’s still a solid courtroom drama we rarely see outside of an episode of Law & Order.
Ginger Snaps
A Canadian horror classic, Ginger Snaps tells the story of two outcast goth sisters in the small community of Bailey Downs. When not making morbid tableaus about death and dying, sisters Brigitte (Emily Perkins) and Ginger (Katherine Isabelle) pout around their school and fight with the school bullies. When they sneak out one night to get revenge against one particular girl in school they are attacked by a beast, with Ginger getting bitten. As the next full moon arrives, Ginger begins to change, becoming feral for both sex and blood. It’s up to Brigitte and the school drug dealer Sam (Kris Lemche) to save Ginger before she turns into something unstoppable.
A fun, goofy, but still genuine horror story that centers two sisters is rare, but Ginger Snaps pulls it off. Writer Karen Walton makes the film an explicitly feminine text, making connections between the transforming of a werewolf and the process of puberty. Director John Fawcett keeps the film light in the right moments and allows for more horrific scenes to have the gravitas needed. While the end effects for the werewolf may not be up to snuff compared to modern efforts, there is a campy, nostalgic feel to it. The stars of the film have great chemistry as believable sisters, and the distance that grows between them throughout the film is honestly sad to see. I great horror film that deserves more consideration.
Hundreds of Beavers
Originality is such a rarity in our modern film landscape, even if one buys into the old adage that there are only six stories to tell. Sometimes something is so unoriginal it wraps around again and becomes a fresh innovation, as is the case with one of the best comedies of the year Hundreds of Beavers. A silent, black-and-white slapstick comedy that takes it’s queues from Buster Keaton and the Looney Tunes, Hundreds of Beavers follows Jean Kayak (Ryland Brickson Cole Tews), an applejack maker who learns to become a trapper in order to win the hand of the merchant’s daughter. His trapping puts him at odds with a massive beaver army, a cave of wolves, raccoons, rabbits, and more (all played by people in giant animal costumes). Inventive and genuinely funny, Hundreds of Beavers is one of the most unique cinema experiences I had all year.
With hilarious gag after hilarious gag, a rolling group of running gags that get wilder and funnier every time, and pure commitment from Tews in the lead role, this film is an obvious labor of love. It wears it’s influences with pride and doesn’t try to be anything more than a purely joyful experience. While the gags do, at times, get a little repetitive, and it feels more like we’re playing a video game and stuck on a hard level instead of progressing, director Mike Cheslik (who wrote the film with Tews) is so innovative with the camera that it’s impossible not to love this film. A pure delight!
Inland Empire
The final feature film by titan of industry David Lynch, and by far his most dense film work, Inland Empire is a grainy, distorted descent into hell. Following actress Nikki Grace (Laura Dern) as, after being cast in a remake of a cursed film, her dreams and reality begin to blend in horrific and unexplainable ways. Shot in an intentionally grainy and ugly manner, the film feels like a relic from a lost, frightening world of pain. Dern is brilliant in her portrayal of a woman in trouble, constantly lashing out and searching for something more than what her deceptive eyes show her. It’s an incredibly hard film to describe, one of very few films that must be seen to be believed.
This is the closest thing to an art film I’m likely to ever watch again, as I tend to shy away from non-narrative film. But Lynch’s eyes and ideas are so unique and singular that, even if I had great difficulty with this film, it’s one I’m glad I saw, and I do want to revisit. There’s almost a stench to his work at time, a vileness that permeates the screen to fully that you’re taken aback by it even if you don’t understand it. It’s a visceral, guttural reaction, something so deeply engrained in your psyche that it frightens you that someone can even reference it. That’s the feeling I got while watching Inland Empire. It wasn’t pleasant, nothing about this is pleasant, but it is grand, like a tower of decay. A monument to the shadows of our own mind.
Inside
A quieter, artier film than what I expected going in, Inside follows professional art thief Nemo (Willem Dafoe) as he breaks into the high tech home of a famous architect, only for everything to immediately go array. When the security system locks Nemo inside with no way to open the door, no way of breaking out, and nobody aware he’s been trapped inside except his partner who immediately abandons him, Nemo must find how to not just escape but to survive. The home is going to be empty for the next six months, so the water is shut off, the fridge is barren, and the air conditioning is broken. As weeks pass and Nemo’s sanity begins to slip, he questions not just his role in life but the role of art itself.
A film that unfortunately plays much of it’s hand in the first act only to be left treading water for the majority of it’s run time, it’s noteworthy if only for the performance of Willem Dafoe. He’s in every scene of the film, playing only with himself, and Nemo’s loose grip on sanity is portrayed wonderfully by the American legend. Helping Dafoe achieve his performance is the excellent art direction, which builds the disgust of Nemo’s living situation to a boil, as well as designing a beautiful cacophony of carnage that is the tower Nemo attempts to build to escape from a skylight. Build from broken tables and sharp, jagged wooden frames, it’s a tremendous representation of Nemo’s state. If the film had decided on how to further the plot, instead of making it a complete allegory to climate change and the dying planet, this might be a stronger recommend. As it is, it’s worth seeing for Dafoe’s performance but not much else.
The Intern
The final from (as of yet) from director Nancy Meyers, The Intern is somewhat of an enigma. It stars Robert De Niro as Ben Whittaker, a retired widower, who takes a senior internship at a start-up online clothing store as a way to spend his time and feel useful once again. His boss is the type-A micromanager Jules Ostin (Anne Hathaway) who started the company but is being forced to step down as CEO by her investors in favor of someone more experienced. While Jules initially dismisses Ben is a simple diversity hire meant to boost their corporate image, Ben’s demure and kind ways quickly establishes himself as one of the best employees at the company. As Ben’s gentle guidance helps everyone at the company, he becomes a vital support for Jules in both her professional and personal life.
The film feels old fashioned but in a way that isn’t a negative, instead having an optimism that feels unfortunately out-of-place in modern filmmaking. There isn’t an ounce of cynicism in this film, and at no point are you truly worried for any of our characters. While this optimism does come off as corny at times (Ben advising the other interns to wear a suit and tie, giving them relationship advise) the relationship between Ben and Jules is very well performed, and it’s honestly just nice to see a platonic relationship between a man and woman played completely straight. Some of the comedy bits are pretty great as well, and De Niro being in regular grandpa mode instead of Dirty Grandpa mode is a welcome sight. Kind, curious, and bubbly without being frothy.
Kraven the Hunter
The latest (and apparently last) film in Sony Marvel Universe, Kraven the Hunter is exactly the kind of film you expect it to be going in and nothing more. It’s not the worst superhero film you’ll ever see, nor is it one you’ll remember anything about as soon as the credits roll. Aaron Taylor-Johnson is ripped and serious in the film, with tinges of fun here and there as the titular hunter but never enough to be much more than a grimace with muscles. The villain has no motives other than to be big and strong and evil (though Alessandro Nivola is having fun). The action is mostly silly, the dialogue outright bad. But damn it if I didn’t have a fun time.
Sometimes you don’t want to have to take a film seriously. You don’t want to know the information from twelve other movies and a television series before enjoying a lion-man fight a rhino-dude. Kraven the Hunter isn’t so serious it becomes dreary, nor is it light enough to be a comedy. It has Russell Crowe adding another entry to my new favourite genre of “Russell Crowe doing a funny little accent” movies. It has nothing going for it, and that’s why I would recommend it. Sometimes disposable is a benefit.
Mission: Impossible
My first venture into the hit franchise and one I’m glad to finally come to, Mission: Impossible is a damn good time even thirty years later. Following IMF agent Ethan Hunt as his team of spies are killed and he is framed for their murders while on a clandestine mission. It’s up to Ethan’s skills as a spy and his ragtag team of misfits (from disavowed agents to possible double-crossers to the criminal underworld) to clear his name and find out who the mole is. With Tom Cruise putting his name in action hero history and director Brian De Palma putting his signature sleaze on the film, Mission: Impossible is an excellent kick off to what will be a monumental franchise.
Mission: Impossible II
The second film in the aforementioned franchise, and one which nearly ended it completely, Mission: Impossible II is a misfire on almost all fronts. Brian De Palma is replaced by Hong Kong action director John Woo, who’s penchant for melodrama clashes completely with the tone of this series. The villain is played by Dougray Scott, a man who is less menacing than a stiff breeze. Ethan Hunt is given a love interest played mostly as damsel by Thandiwe Newton, and it goes from being a modern action thriller to a cheap Bond knockoff. With enough slow motion to add twenty minutes to the run time, this is one that should be skipped by any fans of the franchise.
Never Let Me Go
A stark and desperate sci-fi romance, Never Let Me Go has some heavy hitters behind it. Director Mark Romanek, while not nearly as prolific as I would like, also directed the fantastic One Hour Photo. Alex Garland of Annihilation and Ex Machina adapts the novel from Kazou Ishiguro. Telling the story of three friends who grow up in an alternate 1960s Britain where scientists have found a cure for every disease: clones who are raised specifically for organ harvesting. We follow the threesome as the go from school children crushing on each other to young adults on the verge of death. Only after they have no time left in this world do some of them realize what they have wasted along the way.
Our main character is Kathy (Carey Mulligan), who has spent her short life on the outside looking in upon the relationship between Ruth (Keira Knightley) and Tommy (Andrew Garfield). Despite being the first person to have showed interest in Tommy as school children, Tommy ends up with Ruth, and Kathy spends the awkward threesome of their relationship yearning deeply for the boy she first loved. Years later, when their organs have started to be harvested and there is less time than ever, Kathy and Tommy reconnect in the hopes their love will protect them from what may come.
A heart-wrenching picture about fighting fate and the cruelty of time. Mulligan is outstanding as Kathy, her yearning for not just Tommy but life as more than a walking dead woman is incredibly powerful. Knightley works well in her role as a foil to Kathy and Tommy’s love, her selfishness preventing the lovers from getting together until it’s far too late. Garland’s script is all about emphasizing the small moments, never giving way to big outbursts or melodrama. The muted tones and distant, still frames used by Romanek and cinematographer Adam Kimmel make even the most emotional moments of the film feel hazy and dreamlike. There is a quiet acceptance of the film, a weary resolution of how things are and how things will continue to be, and as the story progresses this weariness becomes unbearably sad. A film you’ll feel in the pit of your stomach.
The Newton Boys
Some films are made at the wrong point of director’s careers. That’s the case with The Newton Boys, the gangster film by Richard Linklater. Telling the true story of the Newton Gang, a group of four brothers who committed robberies throughout the United States during the Great Depression. Renowned for the fact that not once did they ever kill anyone, nor ever really hurt anyone, the brothers eventually ended their careers by pulling off the greatest train robbery in American history, only for things to come crashing down after. The film features an all-star cast for the brothers, including Matthew McConaughey, Ethan Hawke, Skeet Ulrich, and Vincent D’Onofrio. With this great director, a fun true story, and a great cast, it’s unfortunate that the film never really reaches the heights it could have.
A gangster film about gangsters who don’t want to be gangsters is a great premise, with or without the true story aspect. With Linklater’s deconstruction of the hitman mythos from earlier this year in Hitman, it’s easy to see how a more experienced Linklater could have approached this material with more fervor. As it stands the film doesn’t work as a deconstruction, and as a gangster film it lacks the heft of films like Miller’s Crossing and Bonnie & Clyde. Too light to be taken seriously, not subversive enough to be interesting, it comes across as boys playing with action figures more than real people telling a real story. A misstep for Linklater, but a story that could easily be revisited.
Nosferatu
A reimaging of the classic silent horror (which itself is a direct rip-off of Dracula), Robert Egger’s Nosferatu is a sexual, horrific nightmare. Taking place in 1830s Germany, we follow Ellen Hutter (Lily-Rose Depp) as her husband, Thomas (Nicholas Hoult), travels to a remote country in order to secure a major real estate deal. Ellen has been plagued by dreams and visions of a terrible creature since childhood, and when we watch as the decadently evil Count Orlok (Bill Skarsgard) has come to claim his sexual conquest after all these years. Coming to the city of Wisborg and bringing plague and pain, it’s up to Ellen and a group of occult tinged scientific minds (including wonderful performances from Willem Dafoe and Ralph Ineson) to bring the terror of the nosferatu to an end.
A luscious, gothic masterpiece, Nosferatu may be the best work from Eggers yet. From the strained, heartbreaking performances from Depp and Hoult, to the vicious, evil turn from Skarsgard, all the performances are pitch perfect. The sound design is immaculate, working with the painterly mise-en-scene to create a tense and tragic story. The art direction is some of the best of the year, with the period costuming being beautiful while also being robbed of any joy they might have by the depressed colour scheme. The film is deeply, revoltingly sexual, the obsession of Orlok suffocating on screen. A brilliant gothic tale, and one of the best of the year.
Pitch Perfect 3
Rounding out the jukebox musical/comedy sensation of the 2010s, Pitch Perfect 3 is a film so out of ideas it’s almost embarrassing it got made. When thinking of the first film, a simple college comedy about acapella groups, you get the appeal. In the third film we follow the singing group the Bellas as the join a USO tour. Seeing as that’s not enough and the film needs some sort of competition to make any sense (apparently), the best band on the USO tour well get hand-picked by DJ Khaled to open for him on tour. Not enough useless plot? How about a scheme by the father of Amy (Rebel Wilson) to steal her millions of dollars she didn’t know she had? That way we can fit a kidnapping plot and fight scenes into the middle of this comedy about an acapella group!
Brainless and dumb without any of the frothy joy and genuine heart that made the first film a surprise, Pitch Perfect 3 is a tired retread of every bad comedy trope from the last decade. The ensemble cast that made the first film (and, to a lesser extent, the second) such a smash are sidelined and forgotten in favour of John Lithgow doing a perplexing Australian accent. Anna Kendrick once again takes the lead, but with none of the gumption and charm that made Beca a stand-out character before. And the music has gone from fun and inventive to lazy and robotic, none of the songs or moments being moving or even thrilling. Just a dull, bad comedy that wipes out all the goodwill left for the once promising franchise.
Side Effects
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: few people are as consistent as Steven Soderbergh. With his 2013 film Side Effects we see as the director is able to craft a twisty and intimate thriller. Following Emily (Rooney Mara) as she struggles emotionally after the release of her husband Martin (Channing Tatum) from prison. As her emotional state becomes more fragile, she eventually becomes a patient of Dr. Jonathon Banks (Jude Law). After prescribing her some experiment new medication, the side effects (get it?) prove to be more than any of them can handle, and their realities quickly begin to spiral out of control.
A quiet and effective thriller, Soderberg’s careful control of the camera draws out the twists and turns without ever causing us whiplash in discovery. Writer Scott Z. Burns gives us two very compelling characters with Jonathon and Emily, and the cat-and-mouse game that follows is incredibly fun to watch, if not always completely plausible. A smaller role for Catherine Zeta-Jones does feel fairly under utilized, especially considering the pivotal role she ends up playing, but it’s a minor quibble in an otherwise excellent little film.
Someone’s Watching Me!
An early work from horror maestro John Carpenter, Someone’s Watching Me! is a television movie released the same year as Carpenter’s more famous Halloween. We follow Leigh Michaels (Lauren Hutton) as she relocates to a high rise in downtown Los Angeles. Immediately after moving into the apartment she begins receiving unsigned gifts, mysterious phone calls, and disturbing letters. With the police unwilling to help it’s up to Leigh, her coworker Sophie (Adrienne Barbeau) and her new lover Paul (David Birney) to find whoever is stalking her.
A tense little film that does tend to meander in it’s middle section, there is plenty here for Carpenter fans to enjoy. Hutton is a compelling lead, and Carpenter, as always, refuses to write a woman as a damsel in distress. Instead she is careful, thoughtful, and capable of not only defending herself but of fighting back. The concept is unfortunately fairly thin, as we have a very small cast and so there really are only so many directions for the film to go. But Carpenter’s eye allows for these massive, brutalist apartment complexes to quickly become mazes trapping our heroine. A slight film but a thrilling time nonetheless.
Star Trek Into Darkness
The second film in the 21st century franchise reboot, Star Trek Into Darkness is a fairly divisive film among both diehard Trekkies and regular film fans. Following the exploits of the U.S.S. Enterprise has her Captain Kirk (Chris Pine) seeks revenge against a terrorist that has attacked Starfleet, the film is a much more action heavy film than it is the moral dilemma that many fans of the television series had grown to love. By making the film into an action film, it does rob it of some of the core concepts of the Star Trek brand. That said, the action is enough for people not too heavily invested in the original series to enjoy this space romp.
Writers Alex Kurtzman, Roberto Orci, and Damon Lindelof are able to make the ensemble cast of the Enterprise fun and dynamic, even if the smaller characters are not given the hero moments they all got in the original 2009 reboot. The writers do struggle with the villain (Benedict Cumberbatch) who seems to have vague motives throughout the entirety of the film, and the twists are never quite as surprising as they should be. But returning director J. J. Abrams has an eye for sci-fi action, as well as allowing a home for both nostalgia and newness in his modern adaptations. Ultimately a solid space action film, but not a great Star Trek film.
They Call Me Bruce?
A fun little parody film from the early 80s, They Call Me Bruce? isn’t a film I’d recommend to the large majority of people. Incredibly broad and outright dumb in it’s humor, it’s closer in tone to Kung Pow: Enter the Fist than Kung Fu Hustle. Following Bruce (Johnny Yune) as he travels to America in the hopes of finding the woman his grandfather said would change his life. Unknowingly working for the Italian mafia, Bruce uses the fact he is often mistaken for Bruce Lee to his advantage as he bumbles his way through various schemes. Yune is both the star and the writer, and with director Elliott Hong they create the equivalent of the Scary Movie franchise for low budget kung fu films of the 60s and 70s. Unfortunately, as is the case with many of the films it’s parodying, the well is fairly shallow for this particular genre.
I am a massive fan of the martial arts craze beckoned in by the rise of Bruce Lee. As a young kid who was the only in my class to take martial arts classes (and I took them seriously; my black belt is still something I hold dearly, despite not training in years) I was immediately drawn to any film even remotely attached to karate and martial arts cinema. So for me there are little things in They Call Me Bruce that was able to enjoy more than your average film goer. But those elements are few, and the film doesn’t dive into the specifics of the genre it’s lampooning enough for diehards to get a real thrill from. Too broad for genre fans, too silly for everyone else, it’s a film that quickly runs out of ideas, and doesn’t have anything else to make it worth watching.
Time Cut
A mini-trend that has emerged over the last few years are horror spins on classic concepts. We’ve had everything from It’s a Wonderful Life to Groundhog Day get the slasher treatment, as well is Totally Killer and the newest entry Time Cut taking on a slasher spin of Back to the Future. In Time Cut this features soon to be graduate Lucy (Madison Bailey) traveling twenty years to the past to the weekend a serial killer took the lives of her older sister (Summer) and three of her friends. Having lived a life in the shadow of a sister she never even knew, Lucy now has a chance to change to past, even if it means she may never be born. Along the way is Quinn (Griffin Gluck), the school science nerd who secretly pines for Summer.
While the premise is somewhat campy, and the period setting provides plenty that the director could use for quick gags or easy nostalgia, the film lands with a flaccid, dull thud. It tries to form a completely genuine sisterly bond between our two main characters over the course of two days, and it never feels like they get to know each other let alone love each other the way the film needs them to. Director Hannah Macpherson wants to have us enjoy someone getting killed by a broken CD and at the same time be completely emotionally invested in a predictable killer reveal. None of the actors are up to carrying the film where it needs to go, and it’s never certain if it should be fun or serious or anything at all. A lifeless copy of a copy.
Unstoppable
Sometimes it’s fun sitting with a director for a few films in a short period of time. Returning to the vision of Tony Scott for his unfortunately final feature, Unstoppable is an outlier in the British director’s career. Telling the true story of a runaway, unmanned train with dangerous material on it, the film is less heightened than the majority of Scott’s work while still maintaining the danger and suspense of his more blood and bullets heavy features such as True Romance and the aforementioned Domino. The inclusion of frequent collaborator Denzel Washington adds much gravitas to otherwise underwritten characters, which lifts the film just enough to make this an enjoyable viewing experience.
While based on a true story, Scott and writer Mark Bomback inject some drama into the picture. We touch on the family lives of Frank (Washington) and Will (Chris Pine) in the most Tony Scott, men-will-be-tough-but-loving way possible. They make some attempts at making it somewhat a corporate thriller, with the incompetence of the train executives putting more and more people at risk as the film goes on. And the final third of the film is a much more nail-biting experience than the real-life rescue. All these elements, while heightened, still remain grounded in reailty, never stretching credibility. By keeping thing simple and allowing the film breathing room, we get a solid thriller that knows exactly the kind of mid-level, Sunday afternoon viewing it’s meant to be.
The Woman King
A continent discarded by much of the mainstream film world, with dozens of nations with thousands of stories to tell, Africa is a place that deserves much more than most film depictions provide. With histories rich with tales of war and life and peace, it’s shameful that many depections of the continent are marred with either white savior stereotypes or tales of the horrors that have plagued much of the continent for centuries. With The Woman King, while still centering itself on the horrors of the slave trade, director Gina Prince-Bythewood and writer Dana Stevens are able to center the African characters in this purely African story.
Following the exploits of the Agojie, an elite team of women warriors from the African Kingdom of Dahomey who wage war against a rival kingdom that wishes to destroy the Dahomey and sell them to European slavers, the film is a sword-and-sandals epic we rarely see in cinemas anymore. The action set-pieces are fast-paced and exciting, if rather dutifully bloodless despite the carnage we see. Viola Davis is powerful as Nanisca, the leader of the Agojie. She plays the role like an unstoppable force, a mountain of a person who still carries the burden of her past. While her performance is great, much of the rest of the film doesn’t live up to it. The story plays out exactly as one would expect, with no sense of surprise or drama, and the bloodless fight scenes just feel like the director was forced to hold back. A solid if forgettable action epic.
Y2K
Kyle Mooney is a name that, for me, is a sign of bizarre and unique comedy. The Saturday Night Live alum has only brief and small ventures into the world of film in his career so far, with his biggest showcase being the delightful Brigsby Bear from 2018. With his A24 horror-comedy Y2K the comedian hopes to break into a wider audience. Unfortunately, by trying to reach a more broad appeal all of the quarks that fans of Mooney have grown to love have been rubbed away, and the film left behind is voiid of comedy, horror, or anything even noteworthy outside of weak nostalgia and bland characters.
Following a group of teens on New Year’s Day in the year 2000 as the y2k bug causes all machines to turn on the humans, the film never settles on what it wants to be tonally. Does it want to be a horror comedy akin to Shaun of the Dead? Does it want to be a wacko technothriller like a violent Hackers? Does it want to just be a teen melodrama with comedy elements like Can’t Hardly Wait? It never lands on one tone, and the shifting between all these films leaves it completely lost. The characters never feel real, instead remaining one-dimensional stick figures of 90s stereotypes. Talented actors such as Rachel Zeigler and Jaeden Martell are left to flounder in the lead roles, and it just ends up being a corny, not very funny retread. A disappointing directorial debut from a talented comedian.